Kalisha

Well, today is a lazy day…Faith is napping now, Journey is eating lunch of turkey sandwiches, broccoli and cauliflower. While I’m typing this she is demanding “More sandwiches! Come on!” and “Please more!”  I’m feeling a little down because Reneca is getting married right now at this moment and I’m not there. We just didn’t have the money to go and I know she understands, but I’m just upset that I have to miss it. I didn’t have any control of that situation so I probably should just let it go and not beat myself up about it.

I find that I usually have a lot of things that I just have to let go of. I realize that it isn’t healthy to hold on to guilt or grudges, but it is hard to actually let it go.

It is amazing how kids can allow you to live free and take each moment without hesitation or thought. It is a little reckless to do that, but how amazing it feels to not be bogged down with worries or stress. I had this lesson taught to me the other night when Journey and I were playing.

She had been doing somersaults on our bed and slipped off of the edge–then immediately decided that was the best thing ever. So, I made her a mountain of pillows on the floor and she would roll right off and come up squealing from the pillows, “Do it again!” Then after a few times she asked me to join in, “Try it, Mommy!” At first I hesistated (why do we do that?). Then I figured why not? It really did look like fun. So, I lay down on the bed and started to roll once, then I pretended to be afraid and said “Journey I’m scared!” Well, she put on a little devilish grin and just pushed me straight off!

And for a short second I felt a lightness. Then I hit the fluff of the pillows–so fun! Some of you might be thinking that I probably need to get out more if I think rolling off of the bed with my two year old was the highlight of my day. Well, as funny as it sounds–It was the best! Journey gave me the opportunity to just let go and play. To not hesitate and just be free. If only for a second.

Kalisha